Sam Lauria is a freshman journalism major.

The Onion Bagel is a satirical column for The Statesman.

Stony Brook University (SBU) is a college that prides itself on the diversity of its student body. With this large emphasis on diversity, students have the ability to use their various backgrounds to freely express themselves in order to become the best possible versions of themselves. While some people may get cool tattoos and others take pride in their unique sense of fashion, other students have taken this golden opportunity to a whole new level — dorm room window art. 

But who would have thought SBU students would take a liking to making window art? Yes, students decorate their dorm room windows using post-it notes and cardboard cutouts. These colorful creations allow students to express their innermost thoughts and desires. These god-forsaken art embodies the ultimate trait of college kids: relentless nihilism. 

College is typically described as a bunch of kids, trying to learn, struggling to get their degrees, not having money all while figuring out how to function on their own. This learning process comes with some odd antics such as someone eating their first meal of the day in a dining hall at 10:00 p.m. in their pajamas. Us college students can also be seen consuming inhuman amounts of caffeine to cancel out the lack of sleep we get because of the immense amount of work we constantly leave until the last possible minute.

Basically, college is filled with a bunch of people who don’t care what they have to do to themselves in order to ensure their future success. As the last glimmers of childhood are sucked away, window art serves to show the public that we’re doing okay! That being said, let’s look at what Stony Brook students want to show the world. 

Whitman, I thought this was a dead meme. I’m disappointed in you. (Just kidding. I actually love it.)

Here, in front of Hendrix, we have a beautiful piece of art that captures my essence when my alarm clock wakes me up. Every. Single. Day.

Heh heh! Gottem! Good job Whitman!

In this Chavez dorm room, we have some college students using new, innovative methods in order to get a valentine this year. Keep at it dudes! You’ll find someone eventually!

The people who are living here, in Yang, are memorializing the Black Mamba himself. On a more serious note, it was a terrible tragedy and my heart goes out to Vanessa and the rest of the Bryant family.

Umm … Okay? Good to know Yang residents. 

These helpful residents of Gershwin are here to remind you when the mailroom is closed! The only problem here is that this reminder is up … twenty-four hours a day. Even when the mailroom is open… Great job guys. 

Zoo wee mama! Irving gave Rowley the “Cheese Touch”!

Cardozo has some nice advertisements. Thanks for letting me know buddy. 😉

Finally, here is the most beautiful creation in the entire universe. This transcendent masterpiece rules over all of the inferior window art. You can see him looming over East Side Dining, in Chavez Hall, looking down upon his subordinates. Here he is, the infinite being himself: Stanley. 

After taking photos of your bedroom windows — and hoping that no one saw (because that would just be creepy) — I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart … you guys are WEIRD!

Jokes aside, it is nice to see students get creative and express themselves in so many different ways. Window artists: you are the backbone of Stony Brook. You make walking around campus bearable with your witty and random humor. Before I end this, I have one more thing to say —

I better see a cardboard cutout of Shrek decorating one of your windows in the near future!