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Stony Brook’s “Brokehaven” dorms are actually a paradise

The Stony Brook housing at Dowling College in Brookhaven has a bad history of student satisfaction, including Wi-Fi problems, long bus rides and lack of food availability. KRYSTEN MASSA/THE STATESMAN
The Stony Brook housing at Dowling College in Brookhaven has a bad history of student satisfaction, including Wi-Fi problems, long bus rides and lack of food availability. KRYSTEN MASSA/THE STATESMAN

As of fall 2014, Stony Brook resorted to housing transfer students at the Dowling campus in Brookhaven as a result of overfilling the available space in campus residence halls.

There is currently a negative stigma attached to the Brookhaven dorms and the students that have to have “BRV-SBU” on their ID cards. I am here to shatter that negativity and show how Brookhaven dorms are actually the best place to live.

I spoke with some past and present Brookhaven residents about what it is really like to live in these off-campus dorms. They told me about the less-than-adequate time they had, but from what they described, it actually sounds amazing.

Many students lament the half-hour bus ride to campus every day, but what Stony Brook has actually given these students is a regularly scheduled time to ponder their life choices. Imagine how much all of our lives would improve if we were actually afforded the chance to sit and ponder what possessed you to sleep with that guy from your roommates biology class last semester. I know my life choices would get significantly better.

Another “complaint” which students have registered with me is about the food on the Dowling campus and how the dining halls there close at 6 p.m. on weekdays and 5 p.m. on weekends, before most of them return from class. Obviously, Stony Brook is trying to prevent students from getting fat at college. I can personally attest to the fact that 90 percent of my Freshman 15 was gained after 9 p.m.. I cannot even imagine how this could be misconstrued as a bad thing.

The bus schedule is another concern people have about the Brookhaven dorms. The buses do not run frequently enough to get to and from class at a convenient time. Buses stop running to campus at 4 p.m., and run throughout the day at two hour intervals. But who does not love standing around waiting for the bus? Plus, do you know how good this could be for your calves and quads? Think of all the squats you could do during that time. Get ready to get toned, ladies and gents.

A few students noted that some amenities do not function properly, such as the air conditioners. Unfortunately, I have no sympathy for that one. Most of us do not have air conditioners in the dorms on campus so get comfortable with your roommate and sleep in your underwear.

What I consider to be the best part of these dorms is the nearly non-existent Wi-Fi. At first glance, this may seem like a problem or a mistake, but in reality, it helps the students get in touch with nature and each other without the distraction of constant notifications from your summer friends in a GroupMe chat. It is basically living like Henry David Thoreau did when he went to live in the woods. Stony Brook is trying to breed the next great American poet. But more importantly, you always have a valid excuse for not handing in assignments on time. Is there really any greater gift than that?

Everyone who complains about the Brookhaven dorms is simply not fully realizing the benefits Stony Brook is trying to bestow on them. Because even if I call them the “Brokehaven” dorms, it still has the word “haven” in it after all.

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  • M

    Matthew FuchsSep 2, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Let’em know Jerin, it’s funny Kate I don’t remember seeing you even visit our “paradise” at BRV in my year of living there. It was really easy to keep up with class work and get good grades when the only version of blackboard we had access to involved chalk and erasers. You are right about one thing though, that bus ride home gave us plenty of time to reflect on our life choices.. like how much we shot ourselves in the foot by agreeing to live at BRV.

    Reply
  • J

    Jerin GeorgeSep 1, 2015 at 9:31 pm

    Just curious, are you related to Dan anyhow?

    Stony Brook is “bestowing the benefits” for Brookhaven residents! Really? I wonder why they have a guarantee housing on campus after one year of living *surviving* at Brookhaven.

    Reply