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Stony Brook S&M club teaches safe bondage to students

BDSM. activities can involve bondage as a kink or fetish. (EZRA MARGONO)
BDSM. activities can involve bondage as a kink or fetish. (EZRA MARGONO)

Stony Brook University’s The Next Generation chapter (SBUTNG) was sitting in the Union like any other meeting day. In walked a girl with a stack full of holy books. She asked what club this was. The students told her she was in the wrong room. Again, she questioned. “Is this the religious club?”

No, they told her;  this was the BDSM and kink club.

She promptly left.

SBUTNG educates the Stony Brook community about fetishes, BDSM and the kink lifestyle. Members heavily emphasize a consent culture and safe, trusting intercourse. They also discuss having a safe space where members are genuinely excited to talk about their “sexpeditions.”

BDSM stands for multiple alternative sex styles and activities such as Bondage, Dominant/Submissive, Sadomasochism and more. They call themselves “The Next Generation” to show the group is meant for those who want to learn more about kink and fetishes and are between 18 and 35-years-old. The club also discusses topics such as anthropomorphic animals, or furries, voyeurism and exhibitionism. Not all BDSM activities involve having sex.

According to a story by NBC, there are also kink clubs at Harvard University, Columbia University, the University of Chicago and the University of Minnesota—just to name a few.

“The T.N.G. members are everywhere,” SBUTNG president Dakota Eye, a junior art major, said. “We are among you all the time. You’d be really surprised.”

Not everyone is accepting, and some BDSM enthusiasts feel the need to have two Facebook accounts to make sure certain people in their lives do not find out about their sexual tendencies. Tristan Catalano, a sophomore geology and atmospheric and oceanic sciences major who serves as the club’s treasurer, likes that he can show up to meetings in whatever attire he chooses.

“I respect that that’s what they think but I want them to respect that I think differently,” Catalano said about people who do not agree with the kink lifestyle. If future employers see Catalano’s lifestyle choices and do not hire him, he would be upset.

SBUTNG became an official Undergraduate Student Government sponsored club four semesters ago and met informally the semester before. When they were applying for final approval, club members had to emphasize that they were not just a “sex club.” To become an official member, interested persons must attend one meeting. There are approximately 30 official members.

SBUTNG is not just for those looking for those wanting to talk about their sexcapades. “A lot of what we talk about in between the dirty stuff is stuff like ‘Have you watched the latest Dr. Who?’” Eye said.

Susan Morgenlander, a senior sociology major and secretary of the club, is a practicing Catholic and likes that other SBUTNG members do not make fun of her choice of waiting for someone special. She is glad that she attends the meetings because when the time comes, she feels that she will be more prepared and knowledgeable.

She also likes that she can always find someone to hug at meetings.

“People who come to TNG should wear their sassy pants,” Eye said. A typical ice breaker at TNG could ask a participant their name, their preferred pronoun, their kinky social media activity and with what fruit they would choose to have intercourse, assuming there was mutual consent.

At meetings, Eye leads a discussion and sometimes members of the club demonstrate aspects of safe sex such as “sexual scripting.” If one party does not consent, it is rape.

In addition, the club will be holding a “Not 50 Shades of Grey” event to condemn the wide-read series’ false portrayal of BDSM activities.

Eye, Morgenlander and sophomore marine vertebrate biology major Robert Chard described TNG “like a hug… with a paddle right to the a**.”

SBUTNG meets on Thursdays at 7 p.m. in SAC 305.

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