The Statesman got down and dirty with readers for the 2022 Sex and Relationships Special Issue. We asked students in an anonymous sex survey about everything from favorite kinks to online dating. This year, we focused on non-traditional relationships to shine a light on all avenues of dating and romance. Over 150 of you ripped off the covers and told us your secrets under the sheets. Here are the results:

Demographics:

Our respondents leaned about 69% (LOL) female, 23% male and 6% gender non-conforming.  About 34% were seniors, 30% were juniors, 17% were sophomores and 18% percent were freshman. Shoutout to the alum who responded, we miss you! And to the one high schooler who took the survey, we’re telling your parents. 

The majority of participants identified as straight at 50%. About 20% identified as bisexual and 7% identified as pansexual. Around 4% identified as lesbian, 3% identified as gay and another 3% identified as queer. Just over 3% said they were questioning (“girl, I don’t know”) and 1% as bi-curious. Demisexual came in at around 2%, as did asexuality/being on the asexual spectrum and people who choose not to label their sexuality. One respondent claimed their sexuality as “lion” and we’re a little scared as to what that could possibly mean!

Virginity:

The median age participants lost their virginity at was 17. About 24% of you haven’t lost your virginity or just aren’t into sex. Both are valid! 

Body Count:

Whether it’s one or 100, body count doesn’t really have any value. But since we’re journalists our job is to ask the questions the people want to know. The median body count is a solid three, but nine participants had sex with over 15 people. The highest body count was 55, and one participant just stopped counting at 40. 

Sex Locations:

Just what locations are safe game for Stony Brook students? According to our survey, students are having sex all over the greater New York City area, from a couch in Manhattan to the beach at Orient Point. Speaking of beaches, 8% of respondents reported having had sex at one — sand in unspeakable places does not scare you people. If I had a nickel for everytime someone had sex in a port-a-potty I’d have two, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. Below are some of our favorite — or least favorite — locations people have had sex. 

• “Old Navy dressing room”
• “Apple orchard”
• “Bathroom floor”
• “Parent’s bed”
• “Girlfriend’s roomate’s desk”
• “On a ferry in a bar bathroom”
• “Mall parking lot hour before ex-boyfriend’s graduation”
• “Ambulance truck” 
• “My imagination”
• “Golf course”
• “In a brand new port-a-potty at the beach that we cut the zip tie off of”
• “Outside of an abandoned candle factory”
• “East Side Dining”
• “In the Life Sciences building on a conference table next door to his boss’s office while he was on the clock”
• “Back seat of friend’s car while they drove”

Favorite Sex Positions:

The top three favorite sex positions were the classic doggy, missionary and cowgirl. Some seawolves got a little friskier, with some more uncommon positions like prone bone, jockey and eagle. Finally, some positions we were scared to look up, but please feel free to at your own risk. 

• • “Butter churner”
  • “The one where they are chained”
  • “I’m scared of sex”
  • “Stacked snakes”
  • “I just wanna lay there”
  • “Doggie freelance obtuse”
  • “Leapfrog”
  • “Seashell”
  • “The Titanic”

Kinks:

Everyone likes something different in bed. Some seawolves prefer to keep it tame and go vanilla, while others are always down to try something new. Here’s the most interesting kinks seawolves are into:

• “Mirrors — I like seeing different angles of my partner and myself”
• “Teeny tiny bit of domination by women”
• “Mommy or exhibition”
• “Ice cubes”
• “Knife kink”
  “I like the risk of being caught”
• “Breath control and energy exchange”
• “Blood turns me on idk why”
• “??????????????”
• “Candle wax”
• “Kink shaming”

Craziest things said during sex:

Talking during sex can not only be sexy, but a great way to communicate what you want. Us seawolves might not be loud in the football stands but we are loud in the bedroom — here are some of our top picks:

• “Wolfie howl for me”
• “You remind me of my dad”
• “I think it’s really hot that you skateboard”
• “All aboard”
• “I’m gonna f you until the cows come home”
• “You think you’re better than me? You think I can’t have you? You think you’re smarter than everyone else? Watch me”
• “If I didn’t think I was going to marry my girlfriend, I’d totally date you.”
• “You’re just a cum dumpster”
• “Can you do my orgo hw”
• “Literally breastfeed me”
• “I’m not really sure where the condom is”
• “Did you google how to be so good?”
• “I want you to do a line (of coke) off my cock” 

Craziest thing done during sex:

Here are some people getting f***ed harder than STEM students taking a orgo exam:

• “One time a guy answered the phone when his mom called mid sex and told me to keep going”
• “Had sex in cosplay”
• “Peed on each other in the shower”
• “Zip ties were involved”
• “Turn into vampire”
• “Sex with our infant child on the bed”
• “I let my friend eat me out while my bf did me from behind”
• “I pulled out while wearing a vibrating cock ring and came so hard it shot over my head onto the wall behind me.”
• “F*** the s*** out of wolfie”
• “Eaten my armpits”
• “Threw up and pretended it didn’t happen”
• “FaceTimed my friend”
• “Handstand”
• “Maybe I’m not cut out for this quiz.”

Non-traditional relationship:

Non-traditional relationships is an umbrella term for any relationship that falls outside of a closed, in-person relationship between two people. Some common non-tradtional relationships are polyamorous couples, open and non-monogamous relationships. About 77% of you have not been in what is considered a “non-traditional” relationship, but the remaining 23% have. Here are some examples of non-traditional relationships participants have been in:

• “I’ve been in a lot of fwb situations where I have just one partner that I see consistently but not on a romantic basis, just sexual.”
• “Dream relationship”
• “Long distance and friends with benefits”
• “Casually dating multiple people, hooking up but not in an actual committed relationship with any of them”
• “I was dating a girl and her sister, they would often get it on in front of me”
• “I dated Wolfie who I consider to be non traditional”

Dating Online/Long Distance:

During the pandemic when all college students were sent home to lockdown and isolate, couples were suddenly separated and thrown into long distance relationships. About 58% of you said you’ve been in a long distance relationship, while 42% have not. 

For those not already in relationships, many turned to online dating and forming connections virtually. Popular apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge saw surges in their numbers while others used social media such as Twitter and Discord. About 57% of you said you would not date someone you’ve only met online, but 43% said you would. Here are some of the reasons why:

• “I don’t trust people, I watch too many Lifetime movies”
• “I feel that if you are attracted enough to their personality and behaviors, it makes it trivial to become attracted to their physical characteristics; the sexual bond is one that is emotional.”
• “It’s how we meet people nowadays”
• “I’ve done it in the past. Never ends well.”
• “That’s sketchy, scary and dangerous”
• “My love language is physical touch so…”
• “I’m sick and need to physically feel the presence of my partner or I’ll combust”
• “Because they could be a serial killer”
• “I met my boyfriend through tinder”
• “Why not??”

Most unique way asked out:

To finish our survey off sweet, we wanted to know the most unique ways our readers have been asked out. And if anyone wants to ask US out, your four sexy and single news editors, come to our meetings in The Statesman Office at 5 p.m. on Tuesdays. You can pick up a pitch and might even score 😉

• “I asked someone to prom in HS on a fire truck”
• “My current boyfriend got me five gifts from Disney, and each had a word on it. It spelled out “will you be my girlfriend”
• “They biked to my house the day after New Years and brought me flowers and laid them out in the hallway. They were really sweet and the best person I was ever with :)”
• “In middle school a boy offered me fivefive bucks to go on a date with him”
• “A girl threw a rock at me freshman year of high school with ‘Prom?’ written on it”
• “‘If u single n I’m single then shii…’ it worked”
• “Poems and songs. Someone told me they loved me on a cruise. I rejected them though.”
• “So this might be forward but when are we going to see elephants”
• “Set a reminder to call them my boyfriend”
• “Pretending to be a lab TA as an excuse to talk to them”
• “Wolfie once drugged me and dragged me to his sex dungeon”
• “‘Are your legs a rumor because I want to spread them?’”