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The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman


Flirtexting: 10 rules to flirting through technology

The one hour rule can also apply to phone conversations. (KENNETH HO)
The one hour rule can also apply to phone conversations. (KENNETH HO)

Let’s face it. Technology has taken over, and it has sadly become a primary way of communication. That being said, flirting has become harder by being easier to mess up. Here are 10 rules to live by when ‘Flirtexting’ that special someone.

1) The waiting game: So you just went on this awesome date. The waiting game begins of who should text whom first. Showing you are interested is important, but you don’t want to sound over-eager and stalkerish.

Ladies, I know you want to make the guys do all the work. But if he paid for dinner, it would not hurt to send him a text saying thanks for the night out. If he does not pay and does not walk you to the door, let him make the move. See what he does on his own.

Men, if you paid and acted like Mr. Chivalrous for a night, let her text you. If she does not, she might be waiting for you to go out of your way again. Girls like that might be too needy.

2) The “y” rule: This might seem a bit ridiculous but trust me, it matters. When a love interest texts you with a “hey,” you might want to be conscious of how many “y’s” used. The rule is: if someone sends you a “Hey,” you might just be considered a friend. If you are using only one Y, be conscious that it sounds like you are texting your grandma. Two to three Ys send just the right message to that special someone and makes them feel wanted. Using more than three might make you look like a serial killer.

3) The one hour rule: Texting conversation can sometimes get stale. Don’t overdo it. If someone has not answered you in over an hour, you are allowed ONE more text to restart conversation. If it dies again, the ball is in their court. Being the one to always resurrect the conversation may come off as desperate. Do not be the one doing all the work. Besides, relationships in any stage need a little texting break sometimes.

4) “Lol”: You just wrote (what you thought) was a hysterically-insightful, groundbreaking, life-altering text message and your love interest replies with “lol.” End the conversation. Then grab some Ben & Jerry’s.

5) Interval texting: Texting your love interest can be sort of like running sprint intervals on a treadmill. When your sweetie texts you back, wait a few minutes. The golden rule is: Send your next text message five to 10 minutes after their previous one. If conversation is getting spicy—breaking the rule is allowed. But remember, you always want the keep the other person on their toes.

6) That late text: Gentlemen (and I use that word selectively), do not even TRY to text a girl after 11 p.m. if you have not talked to her all day. This makes you look like a rabid wolf searching for innocent prey. Come on guys, girls are not that stupid. And if you are, let me spell it out for you. Ladies, he is trying to get the goods. I do not care if he tells you he wants to cuddle and watch endless episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress” with you. If he is not your boyfriend, he has no business getting into your bed before taking you to dinner.

7) “That” vs. “Dat”: Need I say more?

8) Novels vs. “k”: When that special someone asks you how your day was, it does not mean they need to know everything down to the color of your socks. If you have a touch-screen phone, look at the length of it. If your text takes up the screen, trim it down. Take out the part about putting American cheese on your sandwich. If you are giving a play-by-play of your life, you might as well wear a sign on your forehead that says “LOVE ME.” Keep it casual, but do not give one word answers; be a little more specific. In-between makes you sound personal and chatty.

9) Emoticons 101: Emoticons (smiley faces, wink faces, etc.) can make or break a conversation. However, use them sparingly. This way it will be twice as special when you send them to your interest. Too many winky faces can make your tone sound a little perverted. And let’s face it, this is not “Sesame Street;” no one is always happy. Using an excessive amount of smiley faces can send someone running for the hills. Be cool, not “Overly Attached Girlfriend.” Google it and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

10) Sexting: If you are going to do it, be smart. Pictures are like a virus and will spread like wildfire if sent to the wrong person. The key of sexting is to keep the person on the other end guessing. If they see all of you before they have had it, there is not much to look forward to. As far as messaging your lover all the charming things you want to do to them, keep it classy. Remember, your conversation is not “Confessions of a Porn Star.” You want them to pleasantly use their imagination, not quiver in disgust from phrases they did not even know existed. If you are not feeling the sexy talk, mention their parents. That will be a sure way to get them to shut up.

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  • J

    jimmy pageFeb 11, 2013 at 10:23 am

    SEXFLIRTTEXTING:instead what if some women wanted the nude to be great, men don’t do all the work they hardly even show up, chivalry is chivalry, and if you text a woman at 2 or 3 in the morning…it s even possible she will masturbate for you right then and tell you or ask you if she could…I mean that s what groggy can get you!