This year the Stony Brook wrestling club features two women on its roster. Junior Amena Asar, and freshman Abigael Lopez-Gay have had the opportunity to compete on the collegiate level this season, and will both get the chance to go to Nationals this spring in Virginia.

But, both women have not always had the easiest time in being able to participate in the sport they love. Along the way they have had to overcome fear, intimidation, and at times being disrespected because of their gender.

            “It’s always been a challenge,” Lopez-Gay said. “But, knowing that it’s a growing sport, and the fact that we continue to go to tournaments and wrestle, means we’re helping make the sport grow for women. We’re part of that movement, and making that difference is really important.”

             The sport of women’s wrestling is beginning to grow in the New York, but at a slow pace. The number of matches Lopez-Gay and Asar get at the college level has been limited by the number of female opponents available for them to face in the area.

             “Females are often intimidated by wrestling and don’t understand what a great sport it honestly is,” Asar said. “I would love to have a full line up of women to practice and compete with.”

              Women’s wrestling teams are much more common in other parts of the country. One of those places is California, where Lopez-Gay attended high school.

              Lopez-Gay joined her high school wrestling team during her sophomore year. There she began to fall in love with the sport, and enjoyed being part of the tight knit group of girls on her team.

              “My high school team was super close,” Lopez-Gay said. “There was a lot of team bonding.”

              The high point of her high school wrestling career came when she had a chance to qualify for California State Finals during her senior year. In order to win a position at states she had to beat an opponent, who she had lost a match to just a week earlier.

              Lopez-Gay was not expected to qualify for states, which was shown in the pre-ranking seedings that came out a week earlier. But, once she got out on the mat she was able to come away with the victory, and earn a spot at states.

“It was one of the best moments of my life,” she said. “I started crying, because I was really happy. I remember running off the mat and getting a giant hug from my entire team.”

             Asar grew up in Queens, N.Y., and attended Francis Lewis High School.  Her interest in sports of aggressive nature made her decide to join the school’s wrestling team during her junior year.

She competed on the boy’s varsity team, and frequently had a chance to wrestle against male opponents.  

“I have beaten boys in the past,” Asar said. “It always took hard work and dedication to do so. I feel like a lucky individual to say that I was given the same amount of opportunities as the male wrestlers in my community.”

Both girls have had the opportunity to take on male wrestlers at different levels. Lopez-Gay often got the chance to wrestle against male opponents during practices in high school, and says the experiences improved her skills on the mat.

“We would get to wrestle up weight, and it just made us better wrestlers,” Lopez Gay said.

Asar has found the same thing when she has had the chance to wrestle against boys in high school, and during practices for Stony Brook.

“At times it’s difficult to work with the boys that are my weight because they are immensely stronger than me,” Asar said. “However the positive side of this is that I learn to work around their strength or use it against them.”

Both women have enjoyed their time wrestling for Stony Brook so far. They also say that they have been treated well, by their male coaches and teammates on the team.  

The male wrestlers on Stony Brook’s team had a big influence on both girls deciding to wrestle for the squad.

Lopez-Gay heard one the team’s wrestlers speak at freshman orientation, and then asked him how she could get involved with the club. She had received scholarship offers to wrestle for universities in Florida and California, but was looking for a less intense and more fun experience than those schools offered.

Asar decided to join the club after talking with several of the team’s wrestlers that she saw around campus. They were very inviting, and convinced her to give college wrestling a shot.

“The rest of my team treats me like another one of the guys,” Asar said. “I love that I don’t get special treatment for being a girl.”

Lopez-Gay has also felt accepted by her Stony Brook teammates. This has been important to her, since she has not always gotten the same amount of respect from the men she’s had to deal with in the sport in the past.

“I’ve gone to matches before in high school where people won’t even show support at matches for you, because you’re a girl,” Lopez-Gay said. “It was really disappointing, and sad.”

Lopez-Gay says she has also come across many male coaches who did not believe there should be female wrestlers, as well as male wrestlers who would give her a hard time.

“It can be really intimidating, because the ratio of boys-to-girls is so different,” she said. “It can also be really scary, because (guys) act a lot different on the wrestling team.”

Ultimately though Lopez-Gay feels the thrill of victory in the ring has made whatever she had to endure worth it.

“Once you push through all of that it’s so worth it,” she said. “It’s so worth it for that moment that the ref lifts your hand. When you win your first match, and you walk off the mat and see your whole team all happy for you, it’s like the best feeling in the entire world.”

                Asar has dealt with a lot of the same negativity that Lopez-Gay has, and also agrees that it’s important for women not to quit on the sport.  

“I have encountered my share of difficult and close minded males that don’t want to engage with me at practice or tournaments,” Asar said. “I feel the only way to end the ignorance is to have more women join wrestling and display our talents, in order to change people’s minds.”

Lopez-Gay and Asar joined the Stony Brook wrestling club, because of the passion they have for the sport. But, they also hope that the two of them being out on the mat will make female wrestlers at the college level more common place in the future.

“I hope Stony Brook starts to build a (women’s) program,” Lopez-Gay said. “I love it so much. Me and my best friends love it so much. I hope that there are other girls out there that would enjoy it as much as us.”

Asar also hopes that more girls take up wrestling. She encourages them to take a leap of faith and tryout the sport.

“It will be the best decision that they will ever make in their lifetime,” Asar said. “Wrestling is not only a wonderful and challenging sport but also a lesson on how to deal with obstacles that we all face in life.”