Dear Stella,
I have been in a long distance relationship for the last 3 years. My boyfriend John* and I have now been together for 4 years. Things are well and we are both very serious about each other; But I met a guy, Alex* last semester. I told him that I just want to be a friend, but everything about him speaks that he wants to be more than friends. He holds my hand, cuddles, headlocks, and just flirts a lot. I also feel an incredible connection with Alex* because we share interests on a whole new level. I love my boyfriend, but I have been feeling really drawn to Alex*. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Confused
*Names have been changed for confidentiality
Dear Confused,
It seems like you have a really great thing going with your boyfriend, especially if you have been able to maintain a relationship for four years, three of them long distance. John seems like he has a lot of patience and trusts that you will remain a faithful girlfriend, just as you trust him likewise. It sounds like you have a puppy-love crush on Alex, and you guys seem to be pretty friendly. If there are other things that are making you rethink your relationship, you should consider taking a break. However, is it really worth it to throw away something that has been meaningful for four years for someone you just met? It might be time to sit down and have a conversation with your boyfriend-face to face. Find out how he feels about your relationship and where it may be leading. Ask him if he feels a distance growing between you or if there are any other people he may be interested in. As far as I can see, your uncertainties mean you need to reevaluate your own relationship before moving on to another.
Sincerely Yours,
Stella Starr