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The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

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    Woodchuck Chucks Seven, Researchers Say

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Years of research has culminated in an answer to the age old question: “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Researchers at Brookhaven National Laboratory recently completed a four-year study investigating the number of spruce trees that Marmota monax, the common woodchuck, or groundhog, could process in the span of 24 hours.

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ “This represents a huge accomplishment for us,” said Dmitri Pokavinski, Ph.D., the primary investigator of the study. “BNL is on the forefront of research, and our ability to decode even the most difficult of nature’s mysteries proves that science can conquer all.”

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Through observation and analyses of woodchuck behavior in literally hundreds of different habitats, researchers were able to compile data leading to a definitive answer to the question many thought could never be answered. Utilizing a unique and complex system of calculation and deduction, called counting, researchers determined that the woodchuck does indeed have a natural potential and tendency toward processing a certain amount of wood: seven spruce trees in a 24-hour period.

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ “We were skeptical at first,” said Pokaniski.

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