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The Statesman

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The Statesman

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    Mike on the Mat: Intercession happenings in the WWE, the downward spiral

    Didyou feel the direction of the company turn with the push they gave A-train?Did you see how the ratings skyrocketed to new records for UPN on Thursdaynights? Did you witness the awesome in-ring prowess of the A-Train? Neither didI. The genius writing team of the WWE had another wash-out with this idea. Whythey didn’t give the push to Matt Hardy V1.0 is a mystery to me. A-trainis the stupidest name/gimmick ever. (Well, in the last couple of months,anyway.)

    Speakingof stupidity on the part of the writers, could they make the John Cena raps alittle more offensive? It wasn’t enough to stereotype Mexicans asnothing more than landscapers and unskilled labor (aided and abetted by thealways open-minded and tolerant WWE fans signs declaring,’?Eddie mows mylawn’), but this past Thursday he threw a line in about concentrationcamps. Classic. The white guy rapping act is great fun to watch, and I’mnot one to get easily offended (ask the people who edit my articles!) but weekin and week out of stereotypes and ethnic slurs is a bit much.

    Andhow about that Al Wilson? What a great on-camera presence. There’snothing I want to see more on a wrestling show than a beautifultwenty-something woman with gigantic breast implants sex her seventy-six yearold newlywed husband to death. Delightful. What I would have done to save thishorrendous gimmick: Have the casket viewing in the ring, with Dawn Marie by thecoffin. Torrie’s music hits, she comes down with a chair, and beats thehell out of Dawn Marie, screaming ‘You killed my father, you —–!, etc.She demands a hell in the cell match for Royal Rumble for the two of them, whenthe lights go out, and Undertaker comes out of the coffin and choke slamseveryone. Sure it’s a little silly, but it would have been a satisfyingend to the feud. Another possibility would have been to have Al Wilson fightBig Show’s father in a battle of tasteless parent death angles.

    Onthe plus side, we saw the formation of team angle (Charlie Haas and SheltonBenjamin)–an excellent edition to Smackdown. They’re fairly decent inthe ring, and it gives Kurt Angle more credibility. Their formation has addedan interesting new twist to the feud between Angle and Benoit. Good to seeTajiri back as well. His last two matches have been amazing.

    Onthe RAW side, there’s the HHH feud with Scott Steiner. At the time ofthis writing I’m a little worried about their match at the Rumble. Idon’t know what Steiner’s going to do when he runs through hisstunning move set of the belly to belly suplex and clothesline because HHH sureas hell isn’t going to be able to carry the match. I bet by the time thishits print Steiner will be laid up in a hospital after his legs explode duringthe match. Also, Chris Jericho has entered himself as number 2 in the rumble,after number one Shawn Michaels. It’s a safe bet that by the time youread this he’ll be the first one to be eliminated.

    I’mnot even going to mention the fiasco that was the Raw Tenth Anniversary show;it’s been trashed so much on the Internet I honestly have nothinginteresting to add. Good job on making Austin the greatest Raw Superstar, aswell as having his beer truck bit be number one Raw moment while simultaneouslyburying him!

    Thingscan only get better….right?

    EmailMike with your questions, comments, and adulation at [email protected]

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