Dear Mr. McMahon,
Congratulations. Smackdown has scored its lowest rating in history. Bravo. Thetime has come for some changes. Now, someone in your organization read my lastletter, because within a few months your daughter was off of television, soI can only hope someone shows you this one as well.
Why are you losing viewership? I’#146;ve said it before, and I’#146;ll sayit one more time. You’#146;re champion is a washed up forty-eight year-old pseudo-icon.It’#146;s time to take Hogan out of the ring for good. Sure, Hogan continuesto get huge pops in the arena when he walks out to the ring, but you’#146;velost the key demographic of teenagers who don’#146;t want to see an elderlyman defending his title. The fans in the arena may be deliriously happy, butviewers at home have stopped tuning in.
Seriously, the Jericho-Hogan match was just terrible. Once again we enduredthe terrifying shove that Jericho beautifully oversold. I can’#146;t help butfeel that Hogan was just a little bit responsible for Jericho not doing anyof his signature moves. I thought that Jericho might get the missile dropkick,but nope, Hogan threw him off the top rope.
I would also like to suggest that you restructure the main event heels. Thetime has come for the Undertaker to retire, and the possibility of Big Showas head of the New World Order getting into the main events is too terrifyingto even ponder. Just push Kurt Angle, William Regal, and Chris Jericho to thetop. They are consistently booed for being unlikable, despicable do-anything-to-winheels. They also happen to be quality in-ring performers, not that seems tomatter much to you.
Secondly, I would like to kindly request that you not act like a dirty oldman on air. There was a time when it was mildly amusing, but that time has longsince passed. (Probably about the time when you looked down your daughter’#146;swedding dress; a little gratuitous sex is encouraged, but incest is just plaindisturbing.)
We don’#146;t need to see your midlife crisis on TV anymore. I think Americalets out a collective ‘Sicko!’ whenever you and Stacy Keibler appearon screen. You are married after all, and I don’#146;t think you and Stacy areacting. Please leave Stacy for the younger wrestlers.
Lastly, let me give you a bit more advice for the split. Yes, you and Flairhave come to the agreement that any ‘cross brand’ invasions will resultin suspensions after Undertaker’#146;s run-in on Smackdown!. I think you needto take the split a step farther. I suggest you assign a separate creative teamto each show to serve up an environment of competition, rather than the flatletdown that the WWF has been lately. I think Paul Heyman would be a great choiceto head up the Raw team, and you could head up the Smackdown team. Resistingyour ego just this once, for the good of the show, is all the fans ask.
Your friend, and most electrifying sports entertainment columnist,
Michael Adler
Wrestling trivia question of the week: How did Triple H survive a half hourstreet fight with Cactus Jack, but somehow lose to Hogan in twenty minutes?
Email Mike, it makes him happy: [email protected]
