“So, what did you do this weekend, Sarah?” “Oh, nothing. Just had Billy West write on my torso. The usual.” Yes, the voice of “Futurama,” “Ren ‘ Stimpy,” and “Doug” made character noises as he signed my shirt (for free because I sang him “Killer Tofu”) and I guess he just felt bad for me.
But honestly, I hate how people bash I-CON. It’s cool. There, I said it — it’s cool. And I’ll prove it to you.
I-CON is a place you can come and feel free to be?whatever the hell you want to be. Deep down, I’m a Great Axe holding, level-75 Dark Knight with cat ears and a tail, who comes out to frolic around campus for three days, letting everyone know that I would so beat them in a duel.
We accept you, closet fantasy kid that mixes comic books in with his porn, or you with the Vader alter-ego, or people that just watch the Science Channel way too much.
“Come for gaming, stay for the [freak] show!”
Sit, and listen to actual engineers and physicists that come to I-CON and talk about “future weapons,” and “robots and humans for exploring space.” What? Yes!
Life is good at I-CON. “Wouldn’t it be great if people naturally had blue hair?” was all I could think of all weekend. We bask in the sun, eat smoked turkey legs, and cheer on while Vikings beat each other up with swords and shields.
The April sunlight flickers off their metal armor and drinking horns?
Yeah, we sit in panels and intelligently debate “Why people suck,” and listen in on “A Brief History of Awesome.” Down the hall a crowd is deeply philosophizing showdowns between pirates and ninjas. We could teach the Discovery channel something, all right. Forget about Sharks vs. Crocs! This is the real deal!
And if you just so happen to have mad leet skills, show it off at the Guitar Hero 3, Dance Dance Revolution, and Halo tournaments. The ladies love it. Not enough experience points to compete? That’s O.K. too — I’ll see you in the showing of “Hey, You’ve Got Zombies in Your Back Yard.” Chicks dig zombies, dude. I’m tellin’ ya.
The open gaming room is lame, only because that is where all kids go to play systems they have at home. It’s like giving that one, concaved spot on your couch a rest, and parking your ass in Javits for the next seven hours.
But stuff gets interesting when the sun goes down, and the Hentai (+18) seekers come out to play.
“Don’t touch the floors of the I-CON Hentai rooms!” was overheard by a cautious CON-goer, as the masses filed into the dark rooms…it’s a full house tonight!
But luckily, the audience tries to keep the already immensely awkward situation as light as possible, as we scream, “Ohh man!”…”For real?”…”That looks like clam chowda!” and other various dork humor, which always seems to be strangely right on point.
Outside in the hall, a rave blares, and ninjas dance until the break of dawn?
Come Sunday evening when the costumes disperse and another CON is over, cold reality sets in and you wonder why people don’t really carry around nunchucks, axes and light sabers.
So, don’t hate us. It’s not our fault we’re creative, fun and free-spirited. You can become one of us at any time. Embrace your inner-nerd. So, next time you’re sitting on the couch, and the facebook server is down, just think — you could have been a 1337 sci-fi gamer.
