Ever wonder why that person held the door for you? Why are we polite to strangers? Why are we pleasant, at times? Is it because we are genuinely nice, or because of our upbringing, or is it because of our own experiences?
A sociologist who is cognizant may answer that our pleasantry is a result of a mixture of them all. I used to agree with that perspective, until I had some pleasant experiences in which others were pleasant to me, and others in which I was the one performing the pleasant act (as perceived by myself).
I came to the realization that was helping others is best act one can do. When I suggested this idea to a thoughtful friend, he warned me that, we are polite, and helpful because it makes us happy by helping others.
I soon began to ponder upon the idea of being selfless as intrinsically selfish, if it is true then we help others to only help ourselves. Moreover this would make your med school interview much easier, because you can simply answer “I am selfish” to the absurd question, “Why do you want to be a doctor?”
My experiences have convinced me that we help others, because the act of helping is helping us, cynically this translates to “our selflessness is selfish.” I don’t know how one would prove this contradictory concept, however, I can offer some experiences, which illustrate the extremes of this idea.
As you may already expect there is no “black and white,” it’s all rather a hue of gray, and it is upon you to discern which hue you wish to choose. The first extreme is an acquaintance of mine, who is aware of the fact that I am a self-sufficient college student, and for no reason other than wanting to help, has been sending me approximately $100 a month. He has never asked me for any favor, or even to talk to him, we speak at random and I barely get a chance to thank him.
When asked why, he said, “I have been in your position, and I know how it feels to be there. Because there was no one there to help me, and I want to help you.”
His philanthropy may be miniscule to any ostentatious scholarships you may be banking in, however, the idea of being an individual and not a charity brings greater nobility to the action.
I cannot fathom of a personal motive of helping me other than the one he has mentioned. I wonder, however, if that makes him feel good about himself, boost his ego, etc. Furthermore, if that makes him feel better, good for him since he deserves it, as we all do for helping others.
The second extreme is a scholarship received from a charitable organization. In essence, you get the money, to bolster the reputation of yourself, and the charity.
I have had the good fortune, and opportunity to experience this as well, and I believe it too is a wonderful thing to experience both sides of this coin.
The charity/foundation expects me to bolster their name in trade for their money, and this is an obvious, “I will help you so you can help me later.”
Their selflessness results in selfishness.
This may not sound as noble as I have articulated it to be, but I believe even this extreme of helping is one of noble stature.
If we lived in a world of only self-seeking individuals there would be no progress or gain. These are the actions, which give the world progress everyday.
If you donate a dollar to a charity that helps African children learn how to read and write you should feel good about yourself. Don’t allow that certain friend to say, “What’s a dollar going to do?”
We simply need to keep trying everyday to be helpful, and polite to others, because these are the acts that are never forgotten, and eventually help us. This allows people to have faith in the goodness of others, and it becomes a synergistic cycle.
I personally would not feel that my life has been fulfilled until I become a philanthropist.
