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The Statesman

The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman


    The Automatic 2nd Date

    Ladies, ladies, ladies’hellip; if you’ve read this book’s title, then you’ve read far too much. Granted, there’s a slight negative bias — I probably have the wrong equipment and mindset to be reading a book with chapters titled ‘The Magnetic Woman’ or ‘Your Male GPS: How and Where to Meet Men.’ Nonetheless, Victorya Roger’s Automatic 2nd Date was an interesting read, for all the wrong reasons.

    The premise of Automatic 2nd Date is not terrible — there are a lot of people looking for advice to improve their love life. Advice books can put you in the right direction and maybe introduce you to an idea or two that changes your entire way of thinking.

    Victorya Rogers is just one of numerous friendly advisors looking out for you; she does her best by telling us to ‘just remember, it goes back to attitude, girl.’ Attitude is everything. Her book is not lacking the right attitude — just the right delivery, content, and writing of a good book. It’s a tragedy of epic proportions.

    The first chapter begins with her drawn explanation of the importance of the science behind getting to that second date. Her credentials cite she is a happily wedded wife with kids, long out of the ‘game’ but now reflecting on it for our benefit.

    My first thought was I have to feel bad for the husband, who probably has to read all this. It must be somewhat embarrassing to find your wife has been on over ‘one hundred blind dates and setups.’ The only reassurance is that she ‘didn’t go Dutch treat on any of these dates.’ What is a Dutch treat? Is that for the third date? She never tells.

    Rogers does explain, though, that dating is a game, and it takes hard work to be a ‘winner.’ ‘The game we’re striving to win is love. If you’re going to enter the game, do it to win. Otherwise, why bother?’ She clarifies the ‘game’ is really ‘a procedure or strategy.’ Rogers hopes she can help all the ladies out there by discussing her strategy, based on her
    ‘veteran experience’ and invaluable advice.

    This advice, unfortunately, includes gems like her ‘breakthrough lipstick trick’ and to ‘watch that rear view’ when buying jeans. Rogers presents her self as more of a friend than the run-the-mill relationship advisor, and moments when she advises to ‘[f]ollow the three get pretty quick tricks: Bathe daily, smile brightly and stand proudly,’ show that in the end she really cares. On the other hand, any author that tells her audience to bathe needs to take a long look in the mirror, and try to sort out if she’s contributing anything useful.

    To meet guys, she suggests ‘a unique idea: go to the local shooting range and learn to shoot. You’ll meet quite a fascinating mix of men in law enforcement’hellip; all there to practice their aim.’ Her originality is commendable, but even she agrees this novel idea should be approached with caution. ‘I must warn you, you can also find a few of those scary types who are a little too obsessed with firearms (and just might be the one you see on the news during an FBI raid of a house filled with weapons and other scary things).’ I could only imagine being a woman seriously looking to this book for help, but let down when Rogers fails to provide something concrete or even safe. For every quality moment in this book, there is an equitable disappointment.

    There’s more. Rogers includes a set of 100 questions to ask on the first date, her very own ice-breakers. Favorites such as ’44. Tell me about your scars,’ ’57. Are your grandparents still alive?’ or ’42. Do you enjoy tunes on your iPod of CD player?’ show this well of bad advice is very, very deep.

    She does provide one decent line, 53., ‘Tell me something about you that your friends don’t know.’ I would even recommend you try this (just this) line out next time you’re out on a date. But for the most part, her ice-breakers are so obvious and clich’eacute;’ (2. Can you believe this weather?!) they can be found anywhere else.

    Rogers concludes that a truly magnetic women, a woman who can get that second date, is all of the five C’s — Courageous, Confident, Compelling, Covert, and Charismatic. Her book, however, is just one — Crap.

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