I searched far and wide over the World Wide Web and received the same answer from the majority of sites. The current divorce statistics in America state that just about 50% of first marriages end in divorce while second and third marriages have no chance in heck of succeeding. I’d give you those percentages too but it’s unbearable to even mention let alone search for them. Almost a decade has past since my parents ended their marriage. Almost a decade has passed since sanity took flight leaving me fixated on the idea that everyone is destined for separation.
The other day I saw a picture. Now mind you it was an everyday picture, one that could be hanging on your wall at home. It was a photo of a family sitting on a beach. It entailed a mother, two beautiful children, the family pet and a sunset that looked as if Thomas Kinkade himself stood on a thousand foot ladder and used every bit of artistic ability he had to make the picture perfect. They had smiles on their faces and took no notice of the shadowed outline standing thirty yards away.
You wouldn’t notice the ghost either because it’s a figment of my imagination.
The shadowed figure is a husband. The ghost is an example of why I feel marriages today are doomed. To me, raising children in a broken home is the worst thing possible for their sense of belonging, their sense of pride and fulfillment. Granted in today’s world many parents need to work two or three jobs just to make ends meet while the child comes home to an eerie silence. They come home to their Playstations and Ipods; some come home to abusive alcoholics or deranged television addicts. I know that sounds extreme but could it really be far from the truth? Could it be that many of us (myself included) be so wrapped up in our own problems that we forget about little Jimmy’s soccer game or little Susie’s band practice?
Why are we so quick to get divorced? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel and say forget it? Is it so hard to agree to disagree and let bygones be bygones? It’s a sad day in America when the only option is to sign a piece of paper and destroy our children’s lives.
When I was younger I worked in the catering business. I would watch as the bride and groom kissed and made nice in front of everyone, but once alone the bickering would start. The fights would come and the next thing you know the brides Aunt Sally has cake in her face and the groom’s father has fried Calamari in his hair. Call me crazy, call me paranoid but I’m the type of guy who can see ten years down the line. I guess I had a knack for figuring out which couples would make it and which ones would make it to their lawyers first thing on Monday morning. I think the key elements to any marriage are love, trust, and companionship. If those three things are nonexistent then do yourselves a favor and save the fifty thousand dollars it would cost to get married.
Some of you may laugh and others may cry but a couple of nights ago I was flipping through my piece of junk Jensen T.V and to my dismay nothing good was on. As I cruised something caught my attention. A show called Bridezillas came in to view and I watched in abject horror as one of the brides actually yelled at her wedding party! I mean who in their right mind does that? I’ll be honest and tell you that I didn’t watch it long because I wanted to throw my bowl of Frosted Flakes at the groom! I wanted to pick him up by his stupid collar and shake him till his sloppy grin disappeared. I mean how in the heck can you marry someone who curses out the baker who’s baking the overpriced, three-tiered cannoli cake! Some of you ladies out there are probably wondering why I’m singling out the women. I’m not and if you give me a minute I will be coming to your defense just about now.
Guys are dumb, plain and simple. I was never one to believe in the whole strippers thing at bachelor parties. I mean if you get lucky enough just to stand at the altar with the women you love isn’t that enough? Isn’t it enough to know that you’ll be going to bed with the most precious creature on God’s green earth every night for the rest of your lives? I don’t know about you, but I look forward to growing old with my girlfriend. I look forward to the day when we could sit down in our Lazyboys and look at our photo albums from years gone. I think that’s a gift in itself.
It’s a real shame because I think most people today see marriage as something old school, something their great-grandparents did and as of the twenty-first century it’s no longer cool to be devoted to one person. It’s no longer necessary to take the bad with the good; it’s no wonder why so many children today are screwed up. That’s right I said it. They’re screwed up and it’s because family values have plummeted while immorality has sky rocketed. The book on raising children has been revamped and the idea of “letting them be their own person” has taken over. I don’t think a ten year old knows what is and what isn’t good for them. That’s why they have parents to teach them, that’s why we need to put our selfish ways behind us and start living up to the responsibility that we’ve been given. I don’t have kids and I’m too broke to ask my girlfriend to marry me. But when I finally make it to that point and the children come, I know for a fact that my kids won’t be sitting in front of the television for twelve hours a day or frying they’re brains on the internet.
To end this I would like for you to read a few statistics that I think you’d like to be aware of. I found them in the back of a book entitled “To own a Dragon” by Donald Miller. It’s an amazing read and if any of you have a chance go and pick it up. It struck a nerve in my soul and that’s not easily accomplished. Here it goes:
-63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes-five times the average.
-85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes-20 times the average
-80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes- 14 times the average
-71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes-9 times the average
-75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes-10 times the average.
-70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes-9 times the average.
-85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes-20 times the average.
Gabe Faraci
