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The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman


Ten tips for successful Skype sex

Ezra Margono/The Statesman

Well, it might not be the average couple’s cup of tea, but for those who want to try something new for Valentine’s Day (or for those who are looking for a new spin on the ol’ phone sex), dust off those webcams and let’s get started!

1) Check your comfort level. Are you and your partner comfortable with the idea of cybersex? A good starting point would be to discuss where the both of you stand in terms of what you will do in front of a camera.

2) Secure the parameters. Nothing spells disaster more than having a roommate (or your younger brother) walk in on a sexy interlude. Make sure that the door is locked, the roommate notified, and the “Do Not Disturb” sign hung up where younger siblings can see it.

Tip: Make sure your blinds are closed too.

3) Set the mood. Perhaps you might not notice the clutter around the desk, but your partner certainly will. Make sure to clean up your space before you start! A cluttered background will distract your partner and pull his attention away from you.

4) Relax. Take a deep breath, drink a glass of wine, meditate- getting relaxed instead of nervous will help with the first-time jitters. Make sure the room is not too warm or too cold, and place yourself somewhere with room to move around comfortably in.

5) Lights? Camera? Webcams have come a long way since their conception in 1991, but it’s a good idea to check your equipment and make sure there are no problems with it. Getting extra light into the room is also a plus – that way, your partner can see you easily.

6) Action! Don’t know how to start? It’s ok to take it slow. Chat with your partner for a while, or maybe play a game to get warmed up.  Give yourself time to get used to the idea, and when you’re both comfortable, be sure to…

7) Experiment. What does your partner like? What should you do? Play around to see what fits, and keep in mind what works for next time. Maybe he prefers a strip show? Or she likes to role-play? Anything goes.

8) Get a microphone for a hands-free, hands-on experience. Don’t have one? A cell phone and headsets does the job just as well.

9) Give feedback. Just as with everything else you do together, communication is the key to a successful Skype session. What looks fun? What isn’t?

Tip: Bolster your partner’s self-confidence by praising the things they do for you.

10) Have fun! Of course, the main point of trying cybersex with your partner is to have fun and explore a new side of each other you might not have known before.

Cybersex might not be a comfortable topic for every couple, but whether you’re in a long distance relationship or just looking to do something different with your partner, what is most important in the realm of virtual sex is comfort, novelty, and fun. Give it a try!

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