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The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

The Student News Site of Stony Brook University

The Statesman

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    Book of James

    I had an epiphany some months ago.’ Nearly six years into George Bush’s presidency, I became suddenly overwhelmed with grief for poor Al Gore.’ The man who had by all rights won the 2000 presidential election was now relegated to making third rate horror flicks about global warming.’ Meanwhile, Bush was well on his way to destroying this country, after having lost the war in Afghanistan, exporting our middle class to India, and opened our borders to illegal immigrants, waiting to get their hands on American jobs.

    It is too easy to fault Bush for destroying America, for there is simply too much evidence that proves this.’ Al Gore, who has seen vindication in the eyes of Americans, is a trickier target to hit.’ Gore has spent much of the past decade in hiding, pretending to be passionate about the environment.’ Meanwhile, his yearly electricity bill is twenty times that of an average American.’ He rolls up to the Oscars in a stretch Prius, preaching to America about how we need to conserve and save or die.’ He stands tall, chest puffed out, as pundits continually ask him to be our next president.’ He refuses, of course, loving the attention that the press core affords him.’

    Where were they when he ran for the presidency, he must think to himself, recalling how they did a number on him and his responsible platform.’ I can see him, in his mansion, as he preheats his spa and has one of his butlers pour him a glass of expensive wine.’ This man, our Vice President, was once a juggernaut, advocating responsible policy in all realms and not just environmental conservation.’ He has pigeon-holed himself, carving out his niche that he has receded far into.

    We have a president that can barely manage to keep this country afloat.’ His fiscal policies have been disastrous, seeing massive corporate growth with stagnant wages.’ We have the systematic elimination of the middle class.’ We have an underfunded and mismanaged military, with leadership that is incapable of winning the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, both robust terrorist breeding grounds.’ North Korea now has nuclear weapons, which they built on Bush’s watch, and Iran is well on its way to becoming a nuclear threat itself.’ With all these failures threatening our way of life, Al Gore feels the need to preach about carbon emissions while he uses 20 times the energy of an average American.

    Al Gore went from a true leader to a man who has gotten very good at lip service.’ I respected Al Gore for his real way of speaking and connecting to audiences, telling them the truth in an even manner.’ He was a responsible leader, distancing himself from the runaway morals of the Clinton administration, carving his own path as an effective president.’ Sure, he was a bit stiff when he talked, but that was his strength.’ Acting was for Hollywood and the likes of Dubya, putting on a good face for TV while doing the opposite the first chance they get.

    Well, seven years later, Al Gore has finally learned how to play a crowd.’ He tours the country, carefully crafting his words, putting forth the image of a truly regal elder statesman.’ The only problem is that a man for all seasons has turned into a one-act show, playing to an audience that simply cannot get enough.’ This country needs the old Al Gore back, the man who has the know-how to turn this country around.’ Al, leave acting to the Hollywood types and come back – this nation needs you.

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